The Blue & Yellow Post

I have an interview on Tuesday for a new job.

I’m relieved that I made the “cut” and am one of six who have to sell themselves one over another to persuade a panel of three that they are the best for the job.

At the same time I’m preparing for the interview I’m preparing to undergo a radical elimination diet to find out what is making me feel so ”blurrrr” and “blahmk”; to fnd out what is possibly triggering an allergic reaction (to everything!)

Both are eliminations. Both are necessary and both are appropriately simultaneously occuring at the same time. mmmm but why?

Will I be chucked out at the end of the job interview as an “also-ran”, beaten to within a hair’s breadth by a charming younger woman, adept at this and that and even then some?

Will I be retained and identified as a safe food group – easy to digest, no trigger reaction, no cause for sneezes or rashes or hives. I’ll let you know in a later blog.

Today I tried to find out what the panel wanted (I mean really wanted and expected from the person filling the role). I figured that in a 30 minute interview – and I’ve had my fair share of them  – the panel are hard pressed to get through all the questions – let alone give quality time to cogitate on the answers. Of course the answers were not forthcoming.

If my memory serves me correctly, interviews like this are more an endurance under pressure test; and a test of memory, matching your verbal recall to each of the stunning successes you presented in your pulitzer prize winning application for the job.

And then at the end, when everyone wants to just run away, and you feel sure that the reason the older panelist didn’t look at you is because there’s something physically wrong with your face and hair, will there be time to pin the panel down to answering questions I want to ask; will there be time to interview them?

I think so many work choice mistakes are made by the pace of the one-sided interview, invariably with the script driven by the decision making employers.  And we, the interviewees, are often so desperate to sell ourselves, to be liked, to be chosen, we overlook the critical thinking questions that would determine whether the workplace is going to match our personal style, values and for that matter our diet.

My own elimination diet, no matter how much I withdraw from and add in to the mix, will inevitably come to the conclusion I made some time ago, that I throw back far too much wine that can be justified in a healthy life style. This gay practice of swilling and imbibing has got to do with our generation and in my case catholic background. Like my mates,  I’m practically a fermented experience all on my own.

My younger workmate told me this morning of her evening out with 2 older sisters. They,  like me, do a fair share of imbibing, and have a miriad of internal complaints to show for it. It’s sort of like a secret club, that has run out of credit in the healthy bank and have to make increasing withdrawls in the face of a wilting, drooping, decaying landscape. Yikes! I’m depressed writing about it, and I have no panacea, because – yes, you guessed it – wine is one of the first things to be eliminated!

So I’ll throw myself into both experiences with gusto. Relatively clear headed (give or take a sneeze here and there) but keen to explore and interview them about what I want from such a job, and what I can expect from a renovated internal system.  

Do you think I can have fries with that?